Living with Fred

[Mrs Fred]

Hello I'm Mrs Fred
Having been with Fred about 30 years I have come to know many of the good and bad sides of living with someone with Psoriasis. Over the years I have learnt when to talk or if he gets so down about it just be there. In the early years I remember when I was changing the bed and said "We know which side of the bed you sleep on" and he was very angry, I did not realize what a stupid remark it was.
Not so many years ago Fred had a very bad time and I phoned the hospital. They said to bring him in and they would look at him but he may have to stay. I told him they needed to see the problem but we will take an overnight bag just in case. His skin by then was very sore and bad so I know they would keep him in. When we got there and he know he had to stay he was very angry and being the person nearest I got full force. He told me to go home and I left in tears, I had a good cry in the car park. I know he did not mean to be nasty and if you had seen his skin you would understand.
It would be nice if you would like to share some of your experiences and to know someone understands.

[Caroline]

hey Mrs Fred,
I have never seen this post from you! I just run into it, I apologize.
You obviously need a little help, a few words in reply.
I hope I can give some, by explaining a little of my own situation. I surely recognize the idea of Fred being all frustrated about his condition and then dumping that frustration on the one the is nearest to him, the one that he trusts.
When I was in the earliest days of my friendship with my husband, I was a runner. In the sense that I was at the athletics course and there running 3 times a week with my friends over there, gaining an enourmous condition. I ran Les vingt kilomètres de Paris, in extremely good time. running was my life.
Than at a certain point in time my feet began to hurt, quite nasty, so I started the medical circus, which ended up in the diagnose arthritis psoriatica.
I tried to continue running, but I had to give up finally. The frustration that that gave to me landed on my friend. Apparently I felt that he was the one that could be trusted with my frustration, and we certainly had quite a number of fights and disputes. My angryness needed some way of getting out. Why did my body give up??
Well finally that still ended up in sticking together, and me finally finding the cure for me fitting for AP. I still cannot run anymore but found my way in spinning.

Anyway, your conclusion is right I think. Fred trust you with his frustration, but I understand that this can be very hard for you sometimes.

And than, also the time that he spends on that forum of his. But it may be that he now can lose some frustration in the forum.

There is one thing that I can do for you and that is to have a "decent chat" with Fred, if I am right that is the English expression for "beating him up", in order to let hem understand how you as Mrs Fred, are the one important person in his life whom he should care for very much, and have him take a bunch of flowers for you.

Take care Mrs. Fred !

[Mrs Fred]

Many thanks for your reply. I had to smile at the bit about the flowers, I can not remember the last time Mr Fred brought me flowers.

[Hanna]

Hello Mrs Fred, 
Thank you for this post, I'm pleased Carol found it  
I guess sometimes we don't even notice ourselves becoming angry towards those close to us :( reading your post has made me think about times I have been so upset with my condition it causes me to become angry and vent it all on someone close ..... My husband! 
I think just like Carol it comes down to trust you have in the person.
Well done for putting up with him so well  

x

[Mrs Fred]

Thanks for your message, It's nice to know I'm making people think about the other side. He really is not that bad to live with but we all have our good days and bad days. I love the pic of your dog.

[Grizzly Bear]

Well hello Mrs Fred..............5 years is an awfully long time to be away from here you know


I see what you mean about seeing P from the other side from someone whom doesn't have it, you lucky thing you.

As for this ; I had to smile at the bit about the flowers, I can not remember the last time Mr Fred brought me flowers. Tell me Mrs Fred, can our Fred peel an orange in his pocket ?

Threaten him with a rolling pin, before you know it, your home will be swamped with flowers

[Fred]

Well hello Mrs Fred..............5 years is an awfully long time to be away from here you know  


I see what you mean about seeing P from the other side from someone whom doesn't have it, you lucky thing you.  

As for this ; I had to smile at the bit about the flowers, I can not remember the last time Mr Fred brought me flowers. Tell me Mrs Fred, can our Fred peel an orange in his pocket ?  

Threaten him with a rolling pin, before you know it, your home will be swamped with flowers  

She's reading it.

[Mrs Fred]

Well hello Mrs Fred..............5 years is an awfully long time to be away from here you know  


I see what you mean about seeing P from the other side from someone whom doesn't have it, you lucky thing you.  

As for this ; I had to smile at the bit about the flowers, I can not remember the last time Mr Fred brought me flowers. Tell me Mrs Fred, can our Fred peel an orange in his pocket ?  

Threaten him with a rolling pin, before you know it, your home will be swamped with flowers  

Hi fred told me to say sod off but i'm not so rude. Hope you are doing o.k. Not sure about the orange in the pocket would make a lot of mess. Still not had many flowers so now grow my own. Best wishes

[Fred]

That only took her 18 minutes to post that.

[jiml]

That only took her 18 minutes to post that.  

@ Fred ...... At least her speeeling is better than ours

Hi Mrs Fred good to know you are keeping Fred busy  
This just took me 5 minutes to post